The decision to get a divorce was not an easy one. While, at this point in my story, I was aware that this was not a healthy relationship, there was this overwhelming, paralyzing fear that was holding me back. Fear that I was exactly what John had said I was and no one else … Continue reading Paralyzing Fear
It's amazing how a person can allow life's circumstances to isolate them and make them feel alone, even when they are surrounded by people who love them. This is one thing I learned about myself in the process of gaining the strength to leave John. The entire time that I cried myself to sleep.... that … Continue reading My College Family
Work continued to be a place where I found support, love and happiness. The relationships I built with my coworkers gave me a place to unload and hear the message that I deserved better and that John's treatment of me was a reflection of him and not something that I was, in some way, asking … Continue reading Evie
I was nervous as I waited for the counselor to open her door and call my name. Abby and I had essentially picked her off of the internet and I was about to trust her with things that I hadn't told anyone. I clasped my hands to try and hide the fact that they were … Continue reading Jane
As I mentioned in my previous post, there are many people that helped me to realize that my relationship with John was a toxic one. Nora was one of those people. We had worked at the same school for a few years. She was the teacher in the behavioral program in our school. Somehow she … Continue reading Nora
My eyes had been opened. John's comment, making a comparison of having our children to surviving hell, was the straw that broke the camel's back. I may not have been strong enough to admit that something was wrong when his darkness was directed at me.... but this was different.... this was about my children. This … Continue reading A Turning Point
I was extremely unhappy in my marriage with John. I threw myself into my work and my kids to try and find happiness there... and I did.... but something was still missing. John's aggressive arguments only got more frequent and more intense. I made it a point to barely say anything to him when the … Continue reading Is this Normal?