Mind Games

I did my best to make my mother's house feel like home for the children.  My mother cleared out dresser drawers and cleaned out a bedroom for each child.  I filled their beds with familiar stuffed animals.  I even started letting them use their tablets in bed for a few minutes before they were asked … Continue reading Mind Games

The Second Time I Called the Police

I was convinced that once I was able to gain some space from John I would finally start to feel safe. In my fantasies of what it would be like without him lurking behind every corner I turned, I was finally able to breathe freely and deeply again without the constant fear I had felt … Continue reading The Second Time I Called the Police

Mandated Reporters

Because I am a teacher, I know the ins and outs of what happens at a school.  I also know the legal requirements and the rationale behind them.  One of those requirements is that anyone who works with children is considered a "mandated reporter" by DCF.  This means that if they suspect any type of … Continue reading Mandated Reporters

Unexplained Bruises

Time went on.... the environment continued to be toxic.  John started hiding whiskey in the kitchen.  I'm not sure if he knew that I knew about it or not, but I watched each day as the bottle quickly emptied and was replaced by another.  This only strengthened my fear of sleeping in the same house … Continue reading Unexplained Bruises

The First Time I Called the Police

Yesterday, I heard an employee of a domestic violence agency speaking on the radio.  She was telling the story of my marriage.... summing John up perfectly.  It was as if she had lived my life.... or watched it unfold somehow.  One thing that she said that really resonated with me is that many people think … Continue reading The First Time I Called the Police

Explosions

Living together gave John many opportunities to do and say things to the kids that created a hostile environment.  Quinn was better equipped to handle John's mind games and manipulation, although it still impacted her negatively.  James on the other hand, was quite susceptible to it.  If I was not in the same room with … Continue reading Explosions

Using the Children as Weapons

As John's control over me began slipping away, he began to escalate.  Anger flowed off his body in waves.  I could feel it across the room.  I did my best to avoid any interactions ... to even avoid eye contact when possible.  I became very jumpy and very on edge.  I was always aware of … Continue reading Using the Children as Weapons